It was another year before I built up the courage to create a new Dubfluence mix. It was February 2012 when I published this mix, but I started it the Xmas beforehand. The mixes were becoming far and fewer between, I felt like I was losing touch with my first true love, music. My mind was all over the place, I was always trying to better my own life and everyone else’s around me, doing all I could to elevate us all to try, just try, to make all our dreams come true.
Success is fickle, it’s notorious and it’s relentless. It’s hard to even try to put myself in the shoes of Jenai, 2012. My demons were still with me, still haunting, taunting and torturing my soul, but I tried to just persevere, even with a set of terrible coping mechanisms and a bag of lies that I had lived with almost my entire life threatened to destroy me at a moments notice.
Losing my connection to music had a greater effect on me that I had realised, a revelation I’ve only recently come to discover. But I was trying to keep it together, trying to respond to all the emails and the shout outs for new mixes and new music. So I took some time over the holidays, put my headphones on and lost myself back into the world of me, myself and music.
I approached this mix with all the energy I could muster, I wanted it to reflect some of the successes I was really starting to build with my loved ones and the exciting things I was experiencing more and more every day. I decided a more upbeat, more skippy and more bass would make the difference, and it didn’t fail to deliver.
But as this is Dubfluence, it would always contain my secret pain, it would subversively reveal my suffering, even if no one ever truly knew about it. The intro I chose by Henry Krinkle, ‘Came Baked’ might be one of the best I’ve ever selected to open with and the last track ‘Hard To Smile’ by ENiGMA really did expose my inner trail of thought. I knew the rest of the mix would be more upbeat, have a lighter tone but never, ever, did I want to lose the magic that made Dubfluence, Dubfluence.
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